Home Sweet Home

After having been away for 4 months – my longest absence ever – I returned home from South Africa to visit my family.  Traveling with Caroline was also a first for me because I have always traveled alone when going to and from Africa.  What a treat to have my eldest daughter all to myself for the long trip home!

We landed at Reagan National Airport in Washington, DC and were greeted by Abbey, the graduating senior from George Mason University.  GMU holds graduation ceremonies over 3 days and we were arriving on day 2 so that we could attend the university-wide ceremony on Saturday.  With hugs all around, we headed out of the airport, chatting and laughing all the way to her apartment to drop off luggage before having lunch and searching for her new bed.  We made it to the GMU apartment, opened the door, and out popped Rebecca to surprise us!  We were shocked, since we didn’t expect to see her much during our visit because of her work schedule.  The rest of the day went as planned with lots of silly giggles, “speak-a-phone” jokes, and catching up with each other.

The search for “the bed”, Abbey’s graduation present as she moved into her first townhouse with roommates, was a bit of an adventure.  The salesman was quite the charmer who ended up sending Caroline and Becky out to get him food from MacDonalds since he gave us such a good deal on the bed.  We all felt manipulated by the situation, but I wasn’t going to rock the boat – my default mode when facing a potential unpleasant moment.

The rest of the weekend went well.  We loaded up Abbey’s car with stuff from her dorm so that she and I could make a delivery to her townhouse.  What a cute place!  Doesn’t life come full circle when you share in the excitement of your child’s first “grown-up” place and you’re wondering if you couldn’t have a smaller version of home yourself? We returned to GMU so Caroline and I could get to bed early and then celebrate Saturday as Abbey marched in to Pomp and Circumstance for the awarding of her degree.  Caroline and Saul headed home ahead of us so Abbey and I could finish the packing, move the last of her things to the townhouse, and hit the road for home.

Home, Sweet Home.  There’s nothing that quite captures the wonder of hugs and kisses from those you love.  Dogs jumping up and down and fighting for attention.  Seeing clean sheets and towels that were put out to welcome you.  Lovely gifts from anniversary and Mother’s Day to remind you that you’re never forgotten – even when you thought you had made other plans for celebrating in absentia.  The “command center” where all the mail was sorted and organized, reflecting all the day-to-day minutiae that has to be dealt with by a loving spouse because I left it behind so I could be away.  A glass of wine and a stroll around the estate to check on the progress of the garden – a favorite evening routine for Ken, the dogs, and me.

Then the reality of a long absence set in. Rebecca’s stuff from moving out of her dorm room was stacked right inside the door.  The boxes of books that I couldn’t take in January were still waiting.  The laundry table was full of clothes waiting to be folded and the washer and dryer were filled, waiting for the attention of a child who had filled them and at least made some progress towards getting clothes clean.  The upstairs floors were filled with suitcases, dirty clothes, and wet towels.  And the walk into that bathroom was a mistake I should have expected.  Needless to say, I raced back downstairs for more wine.

But after a few days of visits with friends over lunch and some serious office time to get some work done, it was time to fly out to Boston to be greeted by Suzy and her partner/boy friend, Jon.  The city is certainly a wonderful place and I could see why Suzy loves living here.  Of course, having met such a special man didn’t hurt either, but I think that just added a new sense of excitement and joy to her new life as a graduate student.  Friday was our day to get connected and reconnected.  We walked and talked, had a great lunch, saw Babies, and then headed to Suzy’s apartment for supper to cook up some “stuff” she had into a feast. 

Saturday was Rachel day and the two of us ate at the Cheesecake Factory, did lots of shopping, and then headed to Suzy’s for girls’ night out.  Rachel finished up 2 of her certification courses with flying colors and was being considered for a teaching position with 3-4 year-olds thanks to her incredible skill in caring for one of the children at the center as part of her nanny job.  (She did get the job!)  It was just like old times to relax over good food at a local diner, a chick flick, and a slumber party.  By Sunday, we were all back together with Caroline joining us late in the afternoon from her visit to see Trevor in New Jersey, and then Jon joining us for an evening out.  Monday was graduation day for Suzy and once again, we watched her march in with her class of 2010 Graduate School of Social Work to receive all the rights and privileges of the academy.  By the afternoon, Caroline headed back to New Jersey to see Trevor again and I headed back home to see my Virginia family for one more day.

What can I say about such a short, hectic visit? Will and Steph bought a new car and both look good.  It’s hard to believe that Will is already 30 and such a good husband and father.  Stephanie is expecting our second grandchild and she just glows (or is that my excitement about a new baby reflecting onto her?).  Ashlynn continues to shoot up tall and lean, wrapping everyone in the family around her little finger and delighting us with her imagination.  Ben gets taller, stronger, and deeper-voiced every time I see him.  He’s moving up in the world, successfully making it through 3 interviews to earn a new job at the soon-to-open Best Buy. All the girls in between the guys continue to dazzle me with their beauty and brilliance.  Suzy is heading to NJ with Jon before the two of them fly to Nicaragua for an “I Believe” event.  Rachel has landed in The Netherlands to meet her boyfriend and his family.  Caroline and Rebecca are now in Zambia.  And Abbey is in graduate school and taking care of a beautiful, 9-month-old.  Ken continues to hold down the fort for all of us so that we can be off having adventures.  His job is definitely the most challenging because all of us are calling him at command central to help us get out of some problem or keep us from getting into trouble.

In the few days at home, I managed to get through mail, laundry, and some work at the office.  I got to see dear friends to catch up on life and eat lunch out.  I saw all my children and my granddaughter.  It was a clear reminder that home is a very sweet place to be.  It’s the place in the heart where roots grow deep and keep you connected to what’s real and important.  The deeper the roots, the taller and wider you can reach.  For me, the image is a huge tree, a very old tree, that’s strong enough to weather life and death of those you love, the storms of broken relationships, and the joys of reconciliation, health, and new life.  It’s an image of reaching out to new places and people and bringing it all together to share again.

Now, I’m back in South Africa.  I’ve been greeted by my younger brother Themba, welcomed into his home by his family and fed a BIG supper by my younger sister Thembela.  At work on Friday my colleagues showered me with sms’s (text messages) and hugs (from Ina and my HOD!).  My apartment was clean and quiet.  And my soapies were waiting for me.  A very different home, but a home sweet home for another 2 months.