Lessons from the Side of the Road

I've been really busy since my last post and hope to correct that soon to fill you in on the wonderful travels that I've had with friends in the Drakensburg Mountains and at the Cape in a lovely place near George. But those stories involve posting photos that let you see the wonderful people and the beautiful country. Then there's the World Cup excitement to share and we're at the half-way point in our attendance with the Denmark and Argentina games completed and Brazil and Ghana for next week. Becky has taken incredible pictures and I get to share some of them here, but again, all that takes time and we're so busy living it up here in South Africa and trying to fit in my work that it's hard to find time to breathe.

But this morning, over a cup of hot, foamy coffee (a recipe to which I've become addicted and will be happy to share), I did take some time to reflect on a few interesting encounters I've had with people I met along the side of the road.

Lesson 1: Live generously.
I'm still smarting over this one and I think the lessons we may learn the most from are the times we were not at our best. Walking home from the neighborhood fan park one evening, Becky and I were approached by a grandmother and her little granddaughter. They didn't have enough money for the bus to get home. I gave her all the change I had, but it still wasn't enough, so I suggested that she head in the direction of the fan park telling her, "There are lots of people there who can also help." I held on to the 100 rand note that I had, even though it's really less that $10 and it would have gone a long way to help her out. I still don't know why I seemed to think it was so important for me to keep that money, especially in light of how much I've spent at markets and at the games. Even though I feel the pinch of credit card debt, my small gift to this woman would have made the evening so much warmer for her. I'm keeping my eyes open wider and trying to listen more carefully to others as I remember the generosity I've experienced from others while I have been here.

Lesson 2: See the person with whom you are speaking first.
Driving to new places in foreign lands can be a daunting experience. But when you are trying to maintain American time in Africa, find a parking place without a parking pass because you didn't realize you had to have one, and then fearful of getting lost, sometimes you think only of solving your problem. Becky and I had been redirected through the traffic circle near our final destination to go to another lot to park for our first soccer match. Of course, finding signs that clearly pointed to where to go seemed impossible so at the first intersection I pulled over beside several police officers, Becky rolled down her window, and I anxiously asked, "Where do we go to find parking for the game?" The officer looked at me and replied, "Dumela M'am. How are you?" I responded, "Fine thank you. And you?" Then he said, "That's how we do it here. Now, go straight, straight, and you will come to the parking." Of course, he was right. Look at the person to whom you are speaking and greet them. It only takes a moment to be gracious. And in the offering of recognition and respect, you may be able to find your way in a strange (or familiar) place.

Lesson 3: A kind word lightens the way.
This time we actually knew how to get home from our day of shopping in markets. Becky and I had purchased lots of gifts for friends and family, had a lovely lunch with leftovers for supper, and generally enjoyed ourselves. On the way home, we had to stop at toll booths to pay for the opportunity to drive on the superhighway that led us back to Pretoria. At our last tollbooth, we had our money ready, greeted the toll booth operator, a gentleman about my age, with the standard "Hello, how are you" exchange and when he replied, "I'm too young to complain!" we both smiled back, thanked him for our change, and rode away laughing. What a perfect ending to a lovely day. His kind smile and joy continued to stay with us on the way home.

To really see the people with whom we live; to listen to what another person says and doesn't say; to be present in the moment with someone else - all of that makes the busy-ness slip back where it belongs, into a place that's second to the relationships and people-times that stay with us longer than the multiple tasks we try to manage.

And now, for that recipe. One of the reasons I'm sure it tastes so good is because I first had this while staying with my friend Miemsie at her beautiful place a Danabae near George. Each morning she got up early to mark papers while I slept in. Since we were there to work on an article, she came in to wake me at 7 with a cup of this coffee so I could start my day ready to work. Every time I drink this, I think of that lovely gesture! Here's my love for my friend and for you. I hope you'll come to visit and let me make this for you just like Miemsie did for me (but it's fine if you come later than 7 a.m.!).

1. Fill your mug up about 1/3 of the way with full fat vanilla flavored milk.
2. Heat in the microwave for about 1 minute on high.
3. Remove from microwave and beat with frother for about 30-60 seconds.
4. Add sugar.
(I use 2 tsp. sugar; Miemsie drinks hers with 1 sweetener and 1 tsp. sugar).
5. In SA we use 1 tsp instant coffee and fill the cup with hot water. In America you can just add hot coffee.
6. Use the frother again to mix it up well and enjoy!