The Last Week

Well, it's finally here - the last week of this incredible experience as a Fulbrighter in South Africa.

Friday morning was the official Early Childhood Department goodbye breakfast at The Blue Crane, a beautiful restaurant near our campus. There was lots of laughter, lovely gifts, and a card filled with kind messages. Then we had to head back to the office for a 2 hour department meeting! Believe it or not, even at the end of our department meeting, Marie, Judy and I talked about extending my "Image of the Child" research project into the UP programme, Nkidi and I tried to figure out how to make revisions to the mother tongue grant proposal without the promised template from the Department of Education, and Miemsie and I interviewed Ina for our research. The rest of the afternoon was full of cleaning up the office for me and going through things that needed to come back to the flat for sorting or returning to colleagues for materials that we had shared for our collaborative projects.

Next stop, supper at Elizabeth's house in Tembisa. To celebrate my consistent ability to get lost on almost every trip I take, Themba managed to forget exactly which street Elizabeth lived on, but we eventually made it without anything but a little wounded pride. Friends from St. Peters joined us (fortunately without getting lost) for a wonderful meal, fellowship, and goodbyes. We ate our rice, roast beef and gravy, creamed spinach, and beets. It was just fabulous!! For dessert Elizabeth bought cake and served homemade malva pudding. As Steven poured the vanilla custard on his pudding, Isaiah began to laugh, remembering their first meal in the US when we had a stop at a restaurant on the way from the airport to the Valley. We had a buffet breakfast and Rev. Zibi got some fruit salad. Consistent with his custom to add custard to his fruit salad, Zibi did the same thing at the buffet and returned to the table. He sat down at the table with us and began to eat, but was shocked at the taste. Turns out, he poured melted cheese over his fruit! This has remained a favorite funny story that seems to be retold every time we are together and have custard. Our time together ended in song and prayers for safe travels and love for the people at Trinity.

Saturday: The living room/dining room is my staging area with even the ironing board up as a place to sort through things. Last week I began packing and promptly filled my 2 suitcases, searched for a large plastic tub to serve as a trunk, and still, there was stuff still laying around. So I went through papers and notebooks, books and journals, all trying to cut back. I went through clothes that I could leave behind and give away and there was still the need for more storage. So on Saturday, I had a VERY long morning at Menlyn mall, trying to spend down a gift card at Cross Trainers, pick up some odds and ends from the Checkers Hyper, and purchase the fourth suitcase. Then it was home to pack more stuff, throw out more papers, pick out more things to give away, and figure out a plan for getting to the airport with all this luggage! I took down paintings I had bought while Ben was here, packed my warm FIFA blanket that Becky and I bought at a World Cup game, emptied all the cupboards and drawers, and have everything in the parlor now so basically, the home front is a mess rather than my cute little space.

Sunday became a turning point. Somehow, almost miraculously, I started shifting my focus from saying goodbye to South Africa to saying hello to family and friends in America. With my original plans for a trip to the Voortrekker Museum canceled, I had the luxury of reading Ina's book for that book review I need to write before I leave. Then it was lunch with Nkidi and her family (more great food!), and now I'm back at home. I can't stand the mess in the living room and can't wait to get the rest of my stuff put away so there's space on the table and the ironing board is back in the closet. I'm also restless, eager to finish up the tasks that feel like they're hanging over my head. I'm thinking about the details of packing cars and traveling to the airport, of weighing luggage and checking in for my flight, of last hugs and farewells. But most of all, I'm ready to come home to see everyone I've actually missed quite a lot.

The Countdown

Well the countdown to USA has begun! My family has heard my moaning and groaning about packing up, the challenges of finding a way to ship home all the things I've managed to collect since arriving, and the tears that I seem to shed on a daily basis. And I really am torn about leaving here and coming home. Perhaps over the next several entries, you'll see why.

Yesterday, with 10 days to go, I celebrated my birthday. Now this is generally a pretty quiet event for me because I don't care for all the fuss and bother. My children are wonderful about sending birthday greetings, even when I'm out of the country for my birthday and that was the case this year as well. Ken always remembers my birthday and we do something special, like dinner out and a present. But for the most part, I don't like a big fuss and simply enjoy knowing I made through one more year.

Well, here birthdays are apparently a big deal. At the monthly department meetings, there is a place on the agenda where birthdays are announced. Then, there's the email that goes out at the beginning of each month to remind people of the upcoming birthdays and a request to submit money to the birthday fund. Then, on your special day, people come up to wish you a happy birthday, give you a hug, send you sms's (text messages) with birthday wishes, and your closest friends give you presents, take you out for lunch and supper, and generally amaze you with lots of attention. Who knew?

So yesterday, Simla, one of our secretaries saw me coming in early to get some work started. She immediately came over to say, "Happy birthday. I hope you have a wonderful day. Why are you here so early?" and offered a big hug. When I entered the office and got the computer going, there were messages from family and friends to greet me, even though the time difference is significant, and there was a knock on the door. Marie, the friend who took me to the Drakensburg Mountains for a holiday with her husband as our driver, came in with a bag of presents: a hand painted place mat, Ndebele beaded bookmark, and Christmas ornaments made here in South Africa. We are working on 2 teacher identity projects and putting together a new research study with one of her colleagues from the UK and she wanted wish me well and thank me for our friendship. I couldn't believe that with all she had given me, that she was thanking me when clearly it should be the other way around! We exchanged hugs and Marie left.

A few minutes later there was another knock on the door and I thought that Marie must have forgotten something. But no, it was Annalie, the fairy friend. Annalie has hand-drawn most of the maps I use to get from Point A to Point B. When I get lost, it's her husband who tries to figure out where I'm calling from and provides directions, calling every 5 minutes to make sure that I'm going "straight, straight" along the path rather than making a wrong turn along the way. We have been in the midst of revising all the ethical clearance (IRB) paperwork for the different projects we're working on so I figured she had more stuff for me to do. But no, it was birthday hug time, pink fairy wings, and apologies for leaving my present at home. Then we discussed the evening plans she had made with her family: Dinner at Menlyn Mall and then 10-pin bowling. She left to get back to our paperwork and I started getting ready for an interview for the study that I am doing with Miemsie.

Knock on the door (again!) - and you must understand that no one comes up to my office, but instead, calls or sms's with what they want. It was Miemsie in person with a hug and a gift, a beautiful necklace and earrings from a local specialty shop in silver, black, pink, and orange, because those are the colors I've worn frequently (my wardrobe selection is NOT extensive). I immediately added my jewelry since those were the very colors I was wearing and we headed off for that interview with Mariejie. (Miemsie, you should note, has served me frothy coffee with my 7 a.m. wake up call when I stayed with her at the cape for our study leave to write an article and then she offered her place to Rebecca and me when we came down for a long weekend. We're currently working on our third paper in the series that will not end!)

With the interview complete, Mariejie and I headed back upstairs to our offices that just happen to be across from each other. She pulled out her remote control for the heater/ac unit and turned on the heat in my office. I haven't had a remote and never really thought about too much about it, but we've had a miserable cold spell lately. This has been THE BEST gift! It's so warm in here that my cold-natured friends don't enjoy it too much but it makes all the difference when you're working late in the day.

With emails and ethical clearance revisions flying back and forth, it was time for lunch with Miemsie at the loveliest little restaurant, Isabella's. Everything is homemade and the buffet was incredible! There was a layered potato/cheese casserole, roasted vegetables, beets in chocolate sauce (something too wonderful for words), pasta with pesto, and the list just goes on. Of course after filling our plates full, devouring every single morsel, with lots of conversation going back and forth, Miemsie decided we each needed our own nougat for dessert and who was I to object?!


Back to the office with an VERY full stomach, it was time to face the frenzy of revisions to consent letters and ethical clearance issues until I was completely lost. At one point I ran into Ina who apologized for not bringing my gift and for being tied up with class all day so we settled for a hug (and 2 beautiful candles handmade in Swaziland were in my box today). Later in the afternoon, Nkidi gave me a birthday hug; she had been working all day in her office with projects. These two dear friends look out for me and keep me busy with research as well. I'm reviewing Ina's new book on children's perceptions of citizenship for a South African journal and we're doing an Art Around the World project together. Nkidi is involving me in her grant proposal for African Languages in the Foundation Phase in the hopes that there will be money for me to return as an external reviewer. She's convinced that she's going to make me into an early childhood languages and literacy person before we're finished.

By 5:00 I was exhausted from multitasking on ethical clearances, reviewing Ina's book, looking for accredited journals where we can submit our work and being well cared for. I stopped by Annalie's office to let her know that I was heading home. By 6:15 (about 30 minutes after arriving home) she called me to let me know that I needed to meet her outside my gate so that we could head to the mall for supper. We talked about our fairy book and the work that we need to do in the next week, met up with Nico, her husband, and ordered a bottle of Pinotage while we waited for their son Onic and his girlfriend Vanessa to join us. Before the wine made it to our table, we were moved to a larger booth and began a laughter-filled evening of storytelling (consistent with the article Annalie and I are finishing up now for publication) that led to an intensely humorous bowling tournament in which I did participate and managed to come in 4th place. I made it home about 11 p.m. to skype with Abbey and then crash into bed.

As you can see, the people with whom I live and work are pretty remarkable. They have looked after me personally and professionally for the past 6 months with invitations to join them in all kinds of events. Much of what I've experienced with them is the very same love and care that I get at home from family, friends, and colleagues. I guess, I forget to appreciate how wonderful everyone is because you're always there. And I know that my friends here didn't have to go out of their way to be kind and inclusive - that's just who they are. I really don't know how to say goodbye, but tomorrow morning at our farewell breakfast, that's exactly what I'll begin to do. I'll fill you in on how that goes tomorrow.

Becky and I go to the Cape

From history lessons and shopping and soccer games, we traveled to the Eastern Cape to a lovely little town of Danabay near George. My friend Miemsie was already there on leave with her children and we accepted her gracious hospitality to join them. Here we awoke to the sun coming up over the ocean and went to sleep to the sound of the waves on the beach. Becky made new friends her own age, going out to watch a soccer match with the group, walking through yet another market (this time in Sedgefield), and generally hanging out while Miemsie and I worked on our second article and outlined the next 2 in our series.

We finally made time to see African animals as well. On one day, we took a game drive in an open vehicle where we got to see white rhino, kudu, wildebeestes, water buffalo, giraffes, lions, different kinds of deer, and some ostrich. The ranger knew so many interesting things about each animal and made the entire drive entertaining and educational. We took advantage of an opportunity to Cango to see animals up close and personal and learn about issues related to endangerment. Here we were most excited about our time to pet the 9-week-old cheetahs, the older cheetahs, and the tigers. Then we went to a series of conservation sites where we took a hand-in-trunk walk with the elephants; saw lemurs, cappuchin monkeys, and a number of other primates; then had a wild cat experience to see cheetah, leopard, and several of the "lesser cats" as we learned about the challenges of preserving these animals in the wild.

Our last evening at the cape was celebrated with Miemsie, her son and his friends, and our colleague Hanlie at a great seafood restaurant where the special for the evening was the sushi bar! We had a lively evening talking and laughing and yet another research project emerged for the 3 UP folks who couldn't help but talk shop. With goodbyes said before we went to bed and one more set of hugs with Miemsie on Tuesday morning, Becky and I were off the airport for a quick flight back to J'burg and our final round of packing her up before we returned to the airport for her final send off. She managed to have her first pizza since leaving the states as her "last lunch" in South Africa and over chicken wraps as our supper, we talked about her solo flight home, changing flights in Atlanta, and then arriving in Washington to meet her dad.

While reading through the blog, it's pretty clear where the time went, but actually writing the words, thinking about her impending landing, and looking at all the brochures from our trip and the dirty laundry in the closet and the empty refrigerator, I can't believe her visit is over. We had our occasional moments of tension. After all, how many times can you really get lost?! What happens when you are tired, or having a bumpy day because you forgot your camera, or you aren't sure what's going to happen next and who you'll be doing it with? But compared to all of the rest of the time - snuggling under our world cup blanket at home as we tried to stay warm while we watched soccer on tv, or trying to figure out what's going on with the characters of Isidingo (Becky's favorite soap) and Generations (my favorite soap), or deciding what to order when we went out to eat or when we stayed home for supper, or just hanging out along the way to somewhere - we had a pretty wonderful time together. The part of my heart that's labeled Rebecca expanded a little more to take in the precious young woman she's becoming and I look at her with such amazement and wonder for the person she is and for the gift of her time with me.

A visit with Rebecca

After returning to South Africa from 2 weeks of graduations with Suzy and Abbey and a quick visit with Rachel before her trip to The Netherlands, I settled back into my routine of the single scholar. There's nothing like a long list of projects that are incredibly different to keep me on my toes! The list of papers to write and articles to read seems unending but it's the kind of challenge I enjoy. And, of course, I work with some amazing people who make all of the time in front of a computer worthwhile. But one of the best parts of this experience has been able to share my South African friends and family and country with my children. Not only do they get to experience why I love to be here (even when it's really cold!), but I get to enjoy the one-on-one time I rarely have at home. So it was Becky's turn to visit me after her two weeks in Zambia with Caroline, and I was thrilled to have her good company for a while.

Rebecca is a soccer player and has developed her skills and love for the game from the time she was about 7, playing in rec leagues, for travel teams, through high school and adult leagues. After coaching a girls school team in Zambia, she came to South Africa to enjoy the World Cup, affectionately known here in South Africa as "2010". We had tickets to Netherlands v. Denmark and matching orange shirts to support the Netherlands. After all, Rachel was visiting there !
Then there was Argentina v. Korea Republic. Rebecca had her jersey and a warm hat to show her support while I maintained my ability to avoid asking the Korean fans sitting nearby if they knew my friends JD and Shin Ji. Then there was the Brazil v. Cote d'Ivoire game where Brazil was clearly the favorite to win but we couldn't help but cheer on the African team. Armed with scarves supporting Brazil and an Ivory Coast shirt, Rebecca and I cheered with everyone through that game. The Ghana v. Germany game put us close to the field and all the excitement on the field and a fight that broke out in the section next to us. Beach balls came and went throughout the game, providing a much different experience than any we had had from our perch near the top of Soccer City. Rebecca was responsible for capturing our experiences at the games with her camera while I was responsible for securing the game-wear, hot dogs, chips, chocolate bars, and drinks.

In addition to the World Cup games at Soccer City, we also watched some games at our local Hatfield fan park. Here, an entertainment area during the year for UP students, had been enhanced with a huge screen tv and local, live entertainment. We had a good time watching the crowd and the games, especially given the international nature of the viewers who came out to enjoy the afternoon or evening. This is one place I may visit again as the games move to their conclusions!

Besides all the time we spent watching soccer, we found time to fit in some shopping. Living in the small town of Harrisonburg, we dream of major malls and places to find things out of the ordinary. I had been to several of the malls in Pretoria and Johannesburg thanks to prior visits with groups of students and through my adventures with fairies who magically appear on Saturdays in Pretoria malls. So Becky and I made multiple visits to Atterbury Shopping Center where she made her final purchase, a black jacket that she had been considering for quite a while; Menlyn Mall where vuvuzelas heralded the start of the World Cup games and supported Bafana Bafana on their game days. On our last visit to Menlyn, we were not disappointed to see a sign prohibiting the blowing of vuvuzelas throughout the mall! Then there was Brooklyn Mall, the one I pass every day on my way to work. I feel confident that I have done my part to support South Africa's economy during the last several weeks.

But shopping for us was not limited to the big shops. We frequented the smaller markets like the one hosted each Sunday at Hatfield Shopping Center, just a few blocks from my flat. Each Sunday craftsmen bring their work and other folks bring African artifacts to sell to the public. The parking lot is closed off and I enjoy picking up somosas (pronounced "sa-moo-sas") to nibble on with my extra large cappachino from Wimpy's. There are a couple of craftsmen from whom I regularly buy my souvenirs and I look forward to seeing what new things they'll have each week. It's really their fault that I have so much stuff that needs to be shipped back to the states, but they are laughing all the way to the bank, while I've still got to figure out how to pack their stuff up! Another market held bi-monthly is the Irene market. This one is much larger and the offerings are more diverse. On my first trip there, I found several things and spent way too much money. With Becky along, I spent less money than she did, but it was fun to walk through and watch the people as well as the things that were for sale.

Another reason I wanted Becky to come along was to share some of the history of this ancient continent. Of course, there was a little sugar to coat the scholarly stuff as well. For example, we visited Maropeng's Cradle of Humankind. This interactive museum allows visitors to learn about the beginnings of time through the modern day with a focus on our responsibility as humans to care for one another and our world. She really enjoyed the museum enough to keep us both sane as we managed to get lost coming home that evening. At that point, she began to understand how precious Annalie and Nico are as they try to figure out exactly where I am and how to get me back home again. Then there was the Lesedi Cultural Museum where we visited recreated homesteads or bomas for 5 different cultural groups, watched the singing and dancing, and then ate a feast of traditional foods. During the break between the tour and the dancing, we were invited to refresh ourselves at the bar, but like most of the people who were there, we were glued to the big screen tv to watch the soccer match that was going on. On yet another day, prior to our visit to the Gold Reef Theme Park for an afternoon of rides and junk food, Becky and our friends Nick and Andiswa and Andiswa's niece toured the Apartheid Museum to gain insight into how an area so rich in culture, language, and natural resources could change into a place of priviledge for a few and powerlessness for many. The horrors of the apartheid era have been replaced with the promise of a rainbow nation where "Never, never and never again shall it be that this beautiful land will again experience the oppression of one by another."

The visit continues...

Lessons from the Side of the Road

I've been really busy since my last post and hope to correct that soon to fill you in on the wonderful travels that I've had with friends in the Drakensburg Mountains and at the Cape in a lovely place near George. But those stories involve posting photos that let you see the wonderful people and the beautiful country. Then there's the World Cup excitement to share and we're at the half-way point in our attendance with the Denmark and Argentina games completed and Brazil and Ghana for next week. Becky has taken incredible pictures and I get to share some of them here, but again, all that takes time and we're so busy living it up here in South Africa and trying to fit in my work that it's hard to find time to breathe.

But this morning, over a cup of hot, foamy coffee (a recipe to which I've become addicted and will be happy to share), I did take some time to reflect on a few interesting encounters I've had with people I met along the side of the road.

Lesson 1: Live generously.
I'm still smarting over this one and I think the lessons we may learn the most from are the times we were not at our best. Walking home from the neighborhood fan park one evening, Becky and I were approached by a grandmother and her little granddaughter. They didn't have enough money for the bus to get home. I gave her all the change I had, but it still wasn't enough, so I suggested that she head in the direction of the fan park telling her, "There are lots of people there who can also help." I held on to the 100 rand note that I had, even though it's really less that $10 and it would have gone a long way to help her out. I still don't know why I seemed to think it was so important for me to keep that money, especially in light of how much I've spent at markets and at the games. Even though I feel the pinch of credit card debt, my small gift to this woman would have made the evening so much warmer for her. I'm keeping my eyes open wider and trying to listen more carefully to others as I remember the generosity I've experienced from others while I have been here.

Lesson 2: See the person with whom you are speaking first.
Driving to new places in foreign lands can be a daunting experience. But when you are trying to maintain American time in Africa, find a parking place without a parking pass because you didn't realize you had to have one, and then fearful of getting lost, sometimes you think only of solving your problem. Becky and I had been redirected through the traffic circle near our final destination to go to another lot to park for our first soccer match. Of course, finding signs that clearly pointed to where to go seemed impossible so at the first intersection I pulled over beside several police officers, Becky rolled down her window, and I anxiously asked, "Where do we go to find parking for the game?" The officer looked at me and replied, "Dumela M'am. How are you?" I responded, "Fine thank you. And you?" Then he said, "That's how we do it here. Now, go straight, straight, and you will come to the parking." Of course, he was right. Look at the person to whom you are speaking and greet them. It only takes a moment to be gracious. And in the offering of recognition and respect, you may be able to find your way in a strange (or familiar) place.

Lesson 3: A kind word lightens the way.
This time we actually knew how to get home from our day of shopping in markets. Becky and I had purchased lots of gifts for friends and family, had a lovely lunch with leftovers for supper, and generally enjoyed ourselves. On the way home, we had to stop at toll booths to pay for the opportunity to drive on the superhighway that led us back to Pretoria. At our last tollbooth, we had our money ready, greeted the toll booth operator, a gentleman about my age, with the standard "Hello, how are you" exchange and when he replied, "I'm too young to complain!" we both smiled back, thanked him for our change, and rode away laughing. What a perfect ending to a lovely day. His kind smile and joy continued to stay with us on the way home.

To really see the people with whom we live; to listen to what another person says and doesn't say; to be present in the moment with someone else - all of that makes the busy-ness slip back where it belongs, into a place that's second to the relationships and people-times that stay with us longer than the multiple tasks we try to manage.

And now, for that recipe. One of the reasons I'm sure it tastes so good is because I first had this while staying with my friend Miemsie at her beautiful place a Danabae near George. Each morning she got up early to mark papers while I slept in. Since we were there to work on an article, she came in to wake me at 7 with a cup of this coffee so I could start my day ready to work. Every time I drink this, I think of that lovely gesture! Here's my love for my friend and for you. I hope you'll come to visit and let me make this for you just like Miemsie did for me (but it's fine if you come later than 7 a.m.!).

1. Fill your mug up about 1/3 of the way with full fat vanilla flavored milk.
2. Heat in the microwave for about 1 minute on high.
3. Remove from microwave and beat with frother for about 30-60 seconds.
4. Add sugar.
(I use 2 tsp. sugar; Miemsie drinks hers with 1 sweetener and 1 tsp. sugar).
5. In SA we use 1 tsp instant coffee and fill the cup with hot water. In America you can just add hot coffee.
6. Use the frother again to mix it up well and enjoy!

Home Sweet Home

After having been away for 4 months – my longest absence ever – I returned home from South Africa to visit my family.  Traveling with Caroline was also a first for me because I have always traveled alone when going to and from Africa.  What a treat to have my eldest daughter all to myself for the long trip home!

We landed at Reagan National Airport in Washington, DC and were greeted by Abbey, the graduating senior from George Mason University.  GMU holds graduation ceremonies over 3 days and we were arriving on day 2 so that we could attend the university-wide ceremony on Saturday.  With hugs all around, we headed out of the airport, chatting and laughing all the way to her apartment to drop off luggage before having lunch and searching for her new bed.  We made it to the GMU apartment, opened the door, and out popped Rebecca to surprise us!  We were shocked, since we didn’t expect to see her much during our visit because of her work schedule.  The rest of the day went as planned with lots of silly giggles, “speak-a-phone” jokes, and catching up with each other.

The search for “the bed”, Abbey’s graduation present as she moved into her first townhouse with roommates, was a bit of an adventure.  The salesman was quite the charmer who ended up sending Caroline and Becky out to get him food from MacDonalds since he gave us such a good deal on the bed.  We all felt manipulated by the situation, but I wasn’t going to rock the boat – my default mode when facing a potential unpleasant moment.

The rest of the weekend went well.  We loaded up Abbey’s car with stuff from her dorm so that she and I could make a delivery to her townhouse.  What a cute place!  Doesn’t life come full circle when you share in the excitement of your child’s first “grown-up” place and you’re wondering if you couldn’t have a smaller version of home yourself? We returned to GMU so Caroline and I could get to bed early and then celebrate Saturday as Abbey marched in to Pomp and Circumstance for the awarding of her degree.  Caroline and Saul headed home ahead of us so Abbey and I could finish the packing, move the last of her things to the townhouse, and hit the road for home.

Home, Sweet Home.  There’s nothing that quite captures the wonder of hugs and kisses from those you love.  Dogs jumping up and down and fighting for attention.  Seeing clean sheets and towels that were put out to welcome you.  Lovely gifts from anniversary and Mother’s Day to remind you that you’re never forgotten – even when you thought you had made other plans for celebrating in absentia.  The “command center” where all the mail was sorted and organized, reflecting all the day-to-day minutiae that has to be dealt with by a loving spouse because I left it behind so I could be away.  A glass of wine and a stroll around the estate to check on the progress of the garden – a favorite evening routine for Ken, the dogs, and me.

Then the reality of a long absence set in. Rebecca’s stuff from moving out of her dorm room was stacked right inside the door.  The boxes of books that I couldn’t take in January were still waiting.  The laundry table was full of clothes waiting to be folded and the washer and dryer were filled, waiting for the attention of a child who had filled them and at least made some progress towards getting clothes clean.  The upstairs floors were filled with suitcases, dirty clothes, and wet towels.  And the walk into that bathroom was a mistake I should have expected.  Needless to say, I raced back downstairs for more wine.

But after a few days of visits with friends over lunch and some serious office time to get some work done, it was time to fly out to Boston to be greeted by Suzy and her partner/boy friend, Jon.  The city is certainly a wonderful place and I could see why Suzy loves living here.  Of course, having met such a special man didn’t hurt either, but I think that just added a new sense of excitement and joy to her new life as a graduate student.  Friday was our day to get connected and reconnected.  We walked and talked, had a great lunch, saw Babies, and then headed to Suzy’s apartment for supper to cook up some “stuff” she had into a feast. 

Saturday was Rachel day and the two of us ate at the Cheesecake Factory, did lots of shopping, and then headed to Suzy’s for girls’ night out.  Rachel finished up 2 of her certification courses with flying colors and was being considered for a teaching position with 3-4 year-olds thanks to her incredible skill in caring for one of the children at the center as part of her nanny job.  (She did get the job!)  It was just like old times to relax over good food at a local diner, a chick flick, and a slumber party.  By Sunday, we were all back together with Caroline joining us late in the afternoon from her visit to see Trevor in New Jersey, and then Jon joining us for an evening out.  Monday was graduation day for Suzy and once again, we watched her march in with her class of 2010 Graduate School of Social Work to receive all the rights and privileges of the academy.  By the afternoon, Caroline headed back to New Jersey to see Trevor again and I headed back home to see my Virginia family for one more day.

What can I say about such a short, hectic visit? Will and Steph bought a new car and both look good.  It’s hard to believe that Will is already 30 and such a good husband and father.  Stephanie is expecting our second grandchild and she just glows (or is that my excitement about a new baby reflecting onto her?).  Ashlynn continues to shoot up tall and lean, wrapping everyone in the family around her little finger and delighting us with her imagination.  Ben gets taller, stronger, and deeper-voiced every time I see him.  He’s moving up in the world, successfully making it through 3 interviews to earn a new job at the soon-to-open Best Buy. All the girls in between the guys continue to dazzle me with their beauty and brilliance.  Suzy is heading to NJ with Jon before the two of them fly to Nicaragua for an “I Believe” event.  Rachel has landed in The Netherlands to meet her boyfriend and his family.  Caroline and Rebecca are now in Zambia.  And Abbey is in graduate school and taking care of a beautiful, 9-month-old.  Ken continues to hold down the fort for all of us so that we can be off having adventures.  His job is definitely the most challenging because all of us are calling him at command central to help us get out of some problem or keep us from getting into trouble.

In the few days at home, I managed to get through mail, laundry, and some work at the office.  I got to see dear friends to catch up on life and eat lunch out.  I saw all my children and my granddaughter.  It was a clear reminder that home is a very sweet place to be.  It’s the place in the heart where roots grow deep and keep you connected to what’s real and important.  The deeper the roots, the taller and wider you can reach.  For me, the image is a huge tree, a very old tree, that’s strong enough to weather life and death of those you love, the storms of broken relationships, and the joys of reconciliation, health, and new life.  It’s an image of reaching out to new places and people and bringing it all together to share again.

Now, I’m back in South Africa.  I’ve been greeted by my younger brother Themba, welcomed into his home by his family and fed a BIG supper by my younger sister Thembela.  At work on Friday my colleagues showered me with sms’s (text messages) and hugs (from Ina and my HOD!).  My apartment was clean and quiet.  And my soapies were waiting for me.  A very different home, but a home sweet home for another 2 months.

Caroline on My Mind

One of the highlights of being in South Africa is sharing this experience with my family.  This past weekend was one of those wonderful mother-daughter times with my “African” daughter.  Caroline came to Johannesburg from Zambia to take the MCATs one last time, so we planned out a visit where we could relax and visit as well as see a little bit of Gauteng Province.  This blog is dedicated to that visit.

Even though there are glitches with skype, it has been a life-saver for me because it affords the opportunity to see the people I’m talking with.  I’ve had long visits with Ken while we catch up on what’s going on at JMU, at home, and here in Pretoria.  I get to have almost weekly visits with Suzy, Abbey, and Rebecca.  I’ve even had a short conversation with Ashlynn, who wasn’t too interested in sitting in front of the computer screen with me but sits there for ages with computer games!  As for Will and Stephanie, we have to keep up through Facebook.  Ben sends his occasional email and Rachel’s messages are even more infrequent.  With Caroline, we use skype as a way to talk, but she doesn’t have a computer camera so it’s voice only with her.  And while I love my life in South Africa, I do miss my family and having time to talk with them face to face.

So for weeks, all my colleagues heard from me was that Caroline was coming in for a visit.  I told everyone that I had to leave work early on Friday to beat the weekend traffic out of Pretoria so I could be sure to get to the airport in J’burg on time.  I also let them know that I was not going to be around on Monday and Tuesday because Caroline and I had lots of plans.  People asked about what we were going to do and offered suggestions on ways to spend the weekend.  I left the office early enough to miss most of the traffic, although with all the road projects underway for the World Cup, there are always delays here and there along the way.  I did manage to get to the airport almost 2 hours early!  Of course, I had work with me and just sat at a coffee shop with my large cappuchino until it was time for her flight to arrive.

Waiting for the plane to land, then for her to get through customs seemed to take forever, but she finally emerged and I got my big Caroline hug!  Don’t you just love watching reunions at the airport?  I whisked her away to the car (after having made copious notes so that I could actually find my way back to the parking garage and car when I left the arrivals area), and we headed out to Themba and Thembela’s house for the evening.  My dear friends hosted Caroline the last time she had been in town for the MCATs and they were most gracious to host both of us again.  Supper was cooking and they remembered that Caroline can’t have gluten so we enjoyed our home-cooked meal, complete with pap (my favorite).  We talked and talked and then watched Generations before making our plans for leaving VERY early in the morning to be sure we got to the test center in downtown J’burg in plenty of time.  While our getting up early wasn’t such a big deal for us, it did require that Themba, who had worked until the wee hours of the morning, had to get up to let us out of the gate.

We made it to the test center using our directions with no trouble at all.  Even better, Caroline finished almost 2 hours earlier than she had expected so we knew that our weekend was off to a good start.  Our optimism was short-lived, however,  when we couldn’t quite re-trace our route to get home.  After about an hour of driving around parts of J’burg few 2010 visitors will get to see and making 2 stops for directions, we managed to get onto the right road and head home in the weekend traffic.  The road home seemed unusually long, but we managed to get back to Pretoria, talking the whole way.  After a quick shower, we walked to the Ocean Basket restaurant for supper and then back home again to talk even more, watch a little tv, and turn in early.

By Sunday, the weekend was officially ours and Caroline was able to relax a little more from all the weeks of studying.  We walked to the little market that is held every Sunday at the shopping center, took a long walk through the university’s sports fields, and then back to the shopping center to pick up one of Caroline’s friends from Zambia who was in town for a special seminar at UP.  We went to the local mall for lunch and then caught a movie, The Last Train Station, (or something like that).

Monday held one commitment at work.  The dean of the College of Education was making her official visit to the department’s display at the library, so those of us who had made contributions to the display had to come.  This was the first project that I had done with my friend Annalie and became the basis for a conference proposal and an article so I was glad to show that to Caroline as well.  This also gave me the perfect opportunity to show off my eldest daughter to the people in my department who were thrilled to finally meet her.  All those comments like, “She looks just like you!” “Isn’t she beautiful!” were music to my ears. 

Once we finished up at the library, however, we went straight to the mall for some shopping.  Clothing in Lusaka is incredibly expensive so we were looking for some bargains here in South Africa and found a few things that Caroline had been hoping to get.  Although Caroline’s tolerance for shopping is limited compared to her sisters, she was definitely up for going out for lunch so we tried out a place that had been recommended to me – Huckleberry’s.  Our lunch was fantastic and really hit the spot.  It was a fish with pumpkin and greens over rice in a curry sauce and we both cleaned our plates.  Caroline needed a nap after all that, and I did a little work.  We had to walk to the store to pick up some groceries and had a quiet evening at home.  Thanks to Caroline the chef, we had a crustless quiche that became my supper for several more evenings.

Tuesday was our last day together.  We stopped by campus for the “Proudly Groenkloof” soccer celebrations and then headed to the Apartheid Museum in Johannesburg.  We took our time going through the entire exhibit – one that is incredibly memorable – and then had lunch there at the coffee shop.  Having gotten a little bit lost on the way there, we checked with someone at the museum with a GPS to check on the best way to get to the airport.  He kept referring us to the R-23 and I was pretty sure that wasn’t correct.  As soon as we saw the signs for ORT airport, we ditched his directions and made it there with no trouble.  I dropped Caroline off at the international departure gate and headed back to Pretoria in the 5:00 traffic.

This week has turned out to be quite pleasant and I certainly have some lovely memories of the weekend.  Nkidi has booked tickets for us to have a girls night out at the musical performance of Africa Umoja for Saturday and Annalie and I have talked about a night out over the weekend.  I’ve got Skype on and am waiting to see who comes on line before I turn off the computer because of the current storm.  I hope you have a good weekend as well.

Happy Easter

Working, having fun with my friends here, or going to church where we worship in Sotho and Zulu, English, or Afrikaans, Easter week in South Africa has been a wonderful celebration of life and living.  After a busy week at work with lots of proposals to write and projects to work through, our department had a retreat at the most beautiful guest house to work on our distance education program with our external consultants.  The setting was absolutely lovely and the food, from the breakfast tea through lunch, and then with afternoon tea made the whole day a treat.  Of course, I just had to sit there listening, occasionally making a comment or two and asking a few questions, but generally I was quiet and drank my tea.

For most of my colleagues, that meeting continued on through Saturday, but Nkidi and I had already made arrangements to go with a group of her friends to Soweto.  I can’t begin to describe how vibrant and alive all of Soweto is.  There are people everywhere! We drove past Barankua, the largest hospital in Africa and certainly the largest one I have ever seen!  It is also close to where Ben had lived for a couple weeks. We drove by the Soweto towers, but no one seemed to interested in bungee jumping so we just keep on going.  We visited the Apartheid Museum and Nkidi and Sharon said, as they walked through the exhibits, that it seemed so long ago that things were so terrible.  But they also shared some of the horrors of a segregated life and dealing with passbooks.  Next stop - Wandi’s, with an all you can eat buffet of home-cooked African foods.  My plate was piled high and I ate everything!  Then we drove by Mandela’s little house, Tutu’s residence, Winnie Mandela’s house.  We stopped to take a walk outside the Hector Peterson Memorial to learn about the June 16, 1976 student uprising against being taught in Afrikaans.  Although we didn’t go through this museum, it remains my favorite.  For our last stop of the day we headed to a HUGE mall that was begun by South Africa’s first black millionaire. 

Palm Sunday I headed to J’burg in my recently repaired VW Golf Citi 1.6 with no signs of the car’s alter-ego, The White Rabbit.  My friend Annalie, whose husband takes care of my car, decided that the bunny had left my car to take care of Easter preparations and for that, I’m grateful.  In any case, Palm Sunday at St. Peter’s began at an empty parking lot in the Tembisa township.  For 2 hours we walked up and down the streets of the township, singing and preaching a street revival.  We had people coming out of their homes to watch and listen as we made our way through the streets.  I managed to get video of much of our walk and will share that with folks when I return home.  We ended up back at the lot for a final prayer before driving t other church to finish the service with prayers, announcements, and the offering.  The youth were raising money and sold hot dogs – a welcome treat after a 3.5 hour day of worship.  Of course, there was the session meeting that followed the service, so the elders ate and talked for another 30 minutes before we were dismissed.

Monday I returned to work to spend time on an article I’m writing with Miemsie and Cycil (our head of department).  Tuesday Cycil and I finished up the student interviews for the article and I began the transcribing.  Marie and I met to talk about the 3 projects we’re working on together (one that Holly, Michelle,  and JD are joining and another that Susan B., Dorothy, and Cindy Klevickis will join).  Then it was time to head out for a 2.5 hour drive southwest of Pretoria to visit a rural ECED training site that Ina and Annalie have worked with for several years.

Ntataise was the brainchild of a former journalist who lives on a huge farm with her husband.  She realized that the people who were employed by her husband had no preschools available for their children, so she opened up a preschool on the farm.  She began to realize that the teachers needed training to do their jobs well so she began raising funds to develop a training center.  Today, Ntataise is housed in a modern facility and serves a network of 17 sites.  Trainers are trained by people like Annalie and Ina at the center. Then they go back to their own localities to work directly with the teachers in workshops and follow them into their classrooms to provide additional support.  What I saw was amazing!  We’re starting an evaluation and study of change with this particular project and I’ll have lots more to share about this when I return home.

One of the nice things about going so far away is that you have to spend the night. Again, we were staying at a guest house that is situated on a working farm.  I had no idea of what to expect here, but Ina and Annalie couldn’t wait for my reaction to our hostess.  They had had some less than pleasant experiences in their early days at Ntataise with guest house matrons who weren’t so friendly and didn’t understand the amount of work they had to do at night to be prepared for each day of training.  When they found Alma, they found a treasure.  She is about “our age” and she is so warm and outgoing and welcoming – it was like coming home.  Once we put our things away, she took us outside to show us her labyrinth.  She walked us all the way through it, telling us the story of holy week all along the path.  The next morning, she laid out wine and bread so that we could walk through on our own for a quiet meditation time.  We returned for the key to her little shop where she sells jewelry that she makes and other lovely things.  After spending my fair share there, we had a hearty breakfast and headed off to see two child care centers and meet the Ntataise staff.

On Thursday, I finally got my hair done.  That was a little “renewal” experience just for me and you won’t believe how much younger I look without all the white hair!  The stylist was quite young and decided that instead of using a single colour, I should have highlights so she did the foils and fixed me up!  I lounged around with the colouring and the protein treatment and the styling for a good 2 hours, reading every magazine (and they were all new!) in the shop.  I managed to pull myself away from the mirror and head to the office to meet with colleagues before leaving for home around 4.

Nkidi and her daughter invited me to go to the Maundy Thursday service with them at the nearby Presbyterian Church.  Although the crowd was very small, the tenebrae service was familiar.  The church itself reminded me of Trinity with its smaller membership size and the open sanctuary with beautiful wall hangings celebrating their mission to reach into self, reach out to one another, and to reach out into the world.  After the service, Nkidi took me to her home to have supper with her family.  Her son is 18 and loves sports.  He’s a soccer player for his high school and he’s one defender you wouldn’t want to mess with!  Her daughter is in her 3^rd year at UP studying accounting.  She is one of those rare people who is genuinely sweet and smart and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to talk with her.  Nkidi’s husband is a quiet man with a good sense of humor and dinner was a lively time full of fun.  The food was excellent and I’m getting the recipes to bring back!

Friday was a rainy day, much like most of the week, so I decided to buckle down and get some work done after I went to the 9 a.m. Good Friday service at the Presbyterian church.  By late afternoon, I was stir crazy, but actually had accomplished a bit between the laundry and the dishes and the general procrastination.  I was thrilled to get a call from Andiswa inviting me to meet her at Themba’s on Monday so we could visit with his mom and then go out for lunch.  Soon after Andiswa’s call, Annalie texted to invite me to join her, Nico, and some of their friends for supper.  I jumped at the opportunity and had an evening of conversation around issues of creativity.  They are all activie in international and national circles with creativity in the world of business in particular so we had a great time all around.

Sunshine was the highlight of the day on Saturday.  We’ve had so little of it lately and I felt like a new woman with all the light.  I decided to do some shopping and treated myself to a new pair of jeans that I can wear to work (my other pair was handed down to me from Caroline) and a bright pink blazer.  I roamed around my little mall and headed home to work on an IRB proposal so I can work on a piece of research with Holly, JD, and Michelle.  Since I was incredibly restless, I wrote a very little and took a walk to a lovely set of artsy shops near the house, then returned to write some more, then took a walk to the sports grounds, then came back to finish up the writing and do some emailing.  Annalie texted (she rarely actually calls) to say she was leaving her house at 5 and wanted to know if I wanted to join her.  When I asked what her plans were, she responded, “Dinner with fairies.”  So you know, I said yes!  She picked me up and we went to the mall that is closest to my house to talk with 3 of her students from Tuks Creative (the student organization she started) as they worked with children in the mall, telling stories, painting faces, and drawing pictures. It was a lovely way to end the day.

This morning, Ina and her family picked me up for Easter services at their Dutch Reformed Church.  The building itself was designed by a famous architect and it is a registered historical site.  It was absolutely beautiful!  The sanctuary is circular, with a balcony.  For Easter, everyone brings flowers from their gardens to decorate the altar.  The music was lovely with organ, strings, and horn for today.  Six babies were baptized.  The message, as Ina translated it for me after the service, was based on “the dance”.  A missionary had wanted to explain the resurrection to his African congregation and couldn’t figure out how to explain it in a way that would make sense to them.  One day, at the scene of an old wreck, the beat up car was lying there when a young man came up, walked around and around the car, climbed up onto the car, and then began dancing.  The missionary had his metaphor!  Many of us have been in wrecks of one kind and another.  The resurrection is the hope that as we walk over, under, around, and through the wreck, we eventually end up on top of it and can begin to dance and sing.  We closed the service with the song, “Lord of the Dance”.

The sun was still shining when I returned home, so I quickly changed clothes and headed for the Sunday market.  Inspired by the morning, I picked up some gifts for friends at home, bought another pair of pants and a jacket (the season is changing here, you know), and then treated myself to 2 samoosas (At 2 rands each, where could I get a cheaper lunch?) that I managed to eat before I was half-way home!  Now the rain has come and is going by so that perhaps there will be a little light for the remainder of the afternoon. My projects are lined up in front of me, reminding me that there’s plenty to do.  After all, tomorrow is another play day with Andiswa in J’burg.

The Weekend

It’s a long weekend, with Heritage Day on Sunday and a day off on Monday. I’m staying in town even though my car is officially fixed once again. Even now, I’m wearing my pajamas and treating myself to a cup of “Comfort and Joy” tea from Mary Lou. Yesterday, I received so many compliments on the pin that Mary Lou gave me It’s a long weekend, with Heritage Day on Sunday and a day off on Monday. I’m staying in town even though my car is officially fixed once again. Even now, I’m wearing my pajamas and treating myself to a cup of “Comfort and Joy” tea from Mary Lou. Yesterday, I received so many compliments on the pin that Mary Lou gave me before I left that I felt I just had to drink a cup of “her” tea in thanks. The shades and window are open, the sun is shining and there’s a cool breeze coming in the window. I’ve settled into my space and rearranged my artwork so that my paintings are in the corner of the rooms and I can see them as soon as I enter the flat. I treated myself to a bouquet of flowers from the local Pic ‘n Pay and my Zambian tea set is right in front of me with a “Crazy for U” Valentine lollipop staring me in the face. And now it’s time for my personal tea party with friends. Can you think of a better start to the weekend?

Since Ben left, I’ve become immersed in projects at work and I’m back to the days when I was up at 5:30 and at the office by 7. Then I work through the day until about 6 before heading home to collapse in front of my favorite shows before going to bed or finishing up something that needs to be out to a colleague before the next day. Of course, many of my colleagues are working far longer hours to juggle all their teaching and research activities as well as their personal lives while for me, it’s all personal and just about me so the stress level is very low.

One of the projects that has been so exciting is to work with Annalie on her field trip to the Pioneer Museum. I had the best time getting to see this home and farm with its 11 stations of activities and discussions that focused on life “back in the day”. Students took photographs as they went through the activities and I used my Flip camera to capture the action of the day. After the trip, we asked the students 3 reflection questions that Annalie and I analyzed for themes so that we could compare the students’ experiences on the field trip with the intended purposes of the trip. We put together our results in a research-style poster that is now on display in our campus library with other artifacts from our department. We’ll be able to use this in an article, but I think we may combine it with some other projects that Annalie incorporates into this class. We were fortunate to have a student who is very skilled in Photo Shop and poster creation actually take what I had set up on my office  walls (the photo has one "panel" as laid out on the wall) and put it into the poster. It’s just beautiful! You'll get to see it when I return next semester!

Then Miemsie, another friend and colleague, has invited me into some research that she and Cycil, our Head of Department (HOD) are doing around the question, “Why are so few Black students enrolling in teacher education?” She had already conducted one focus group when she asked if I would like to sit in on 2 more groups. Of course, I said yes! The first group I joined in on was with secondary (grades 8-10) and FET (grades 11-12) teacher education students. We had 6 young women and 3 young men. Of this group, only 1 young man chose teaching as his first choice major and he was incredibly passionate. I’d love to interview him one-on-one to find out more about his story. The second group I met with was only early childhood majors from first, second, and third years. They were clear that teaching young children was exactly what they wanted to do, but they also had wonderful ideas for recruitment. Next week, I’m following up with a few individual interviews with them to get more data on their personal stories and their recommendations for recruitment.

All that leads to the week of proposals. The department received a Call for Proposals from the Department of Education related to Foundation Phase (grades K-3) teacher education. So everyone moved into high gear to write up proposals for funding. I worked with Cycil and Miemsie on a proposal to address quality of Foundation Phase teacher education programs and the issue of recruitment and retention of Black students. Nkidi worked on a proposal for home language instruction; Marie on teacher identity; and Ina on citizenship education. Our colleagues from Information Communication Technology and Teacher Innovation also submitted a proposal. Between the emails and the meetings and the writing – it was a hectic week for all but now all the proposals are with the HOD. Please keep us all in your prayers that we actually get the money to do much of the research that people are already doing on a much smaller scale.

I ended the week with a trip to J’burg with Nkidi to meet with a potential funder for two of her projects. We got turned around and managed to drive in circles until Nkidi called her niece, who straightened out our directions, and then headed to Ed Con, a conglomerate corporate office for some of the major department stores in South Africa. We met with Innocentia from HR and she was lovely and appeared interested in what Nkidi had to share. We arrived back on campus in time for me to join Annalie’s class as she led them through her “Green Day” activities that integrate virtually everything in the national curriculum into an archeological expedition to Earth in the year 3010 to discover what we can about the planet. This time, I became a member of the team and the two of us had a wonderful time co-teaching (although she really took the lead and I just played along). We’re thinking about another poster or at least more data to go with our field trip article.

So, here I am with a weekend of reading and writing ahead of me. I got the laundry done last night and I’ve already made the bed. The dishes from supper need to be washed so I’ll do that soon. I’ll head over to the bookstore and later in the day, there’s a set of shops that are tucked away in a little corner that I want to check out. Sunday, there’s a flea market and festival that Annalie is taking me to see and I know that Ina and I are taking an evening walk on the university sports grounds at some point. Monday is back to reading and writing with a walk or two just to take a break before returning for another week in academia. I hope that you, too, can enjoy a bit of a break as well to do just what you enjoy doing. And whether it’s a tea party or a coffee break or a trip to Barnes & Noble or Greenberry’s – know that I’m thinking of you over my cup of tea!

The Kiss

It’s the end of the week (March 4, 2010) and the end of Ben’s visit to Africa.  We’ve tried to plan some special things to do in celebration of this time with Caroline and Mom.  The Cape Town trip was certainly special and then back to reality while the car had to be repaired and I went back to work.  Ben spent Tuesday sleeping in and then hanging around until I got home.  Wednesday, after visiting Annalie’s 4^th year students to explain our documentation project, we headed to Child Academy to meet my friend Maggie and tour the classrooms and talk with the preschool teachers. Then there was some shopping that Ben wanted to do so we went to Bruma Market, one of my favorite shopping places.  After getting turned around several times and then a frantic call to Themba for directions, we got onto the right road and made it home in our borrowed car.

For people who know me well, I love my family, shopping, and work so the day was pretty satisfying for me.  I got to talk with students who are so much like the JMU students I teach and they were so helpful with the project that Annalie and I are trying out together.  Annalie is not only a wonderful colleague with whom I am working on 2 major projects, but she is also a good friend. She’s the one who makes sure that I have a vehicle that works, she draws all kinds of maps to get me around the area, and she’s always recommending fun places to go.  She also sends those encouraging emails that remind me to smile or laugh or enjoy my weekend.

Then, I spent the afternoon at Child Academy with another dear friend.  Maggie, and teacher in a child care center in Alexandra, is an expert in early childhood development and preschool education.  She and her late husband, Isaac Mahlatsi, started Child Academy as a model early childhood center and the school has grown to serve children from 2 years of age through grade 7.  She and I talked with Isaiah Modiba, the current director, and the teachers, identifying areas of professional development for the teachers and resources for the school to maintain the vision of a high quality learning environment in the middle of Tembisa township.

Even more important than our conversations about work, though, is our history together.  Isaac was the reason I first came to South Africa.  I met him years ago when he visited Harrisonburg and wanted to see a model early childhood program.  Of course, I took him to see our Young Children’s Program.  Isaac was impressed with what he saw and as I got to know him better during that visit, he shared his story of moving from Youth Development to Early Childhood. He became a dear friend and his home became a base for members of Trinity and for me as well.  Of course, once in his home, there was Maggie.

Maggie has 3 children whose ages match 3 of my children.  Karabelo, her eldest son, is about Suzy’s age; Tclapi is about Abbey’s age; and Tsidio is Ben’s age.  On the days that I lived with the Mahlatsi family, Maggie and I would talk about rearing children and dealing with the challenges of being wives, mothers, and teachers – all over cups of % Roses and rooibos tea. She laughs when I tell her I think her cooking is “yummy” (which it is) and she thinks my lasagna is delicious (mostly because it’s a quick and easy recipe). 

After our time at Child Academy, Ben was eager to get to Bruma Market to do some shopping for his friends.  I had a sense of where it was, but wasn’t exactly following the directions that Isaiah and Maggie were giving so Maggie led the way and we followed.  Once at Bruma, an area of J’burg, we waved goodbye and made our way to the market for about an hour of intense shopping.  Shopping at markets is more than just running in, making selections, and then paying for goods.  It’s being invited into small stalls to look because, “looking is free. It doesn’t cost anything to look.”  Once you start looking, then the sales person makes many recommendations of items that will be sure to fall into your price range.  If you find something you actually want to buy, then the haggling begins.  Remember that to determine the cost of any given item or set of items, you must divide by 7.5 (or by 7 if you have trouble mentally calculating with a decimal) to see if you’re willing to spend that amount of money.  Of course, the shopkeeper starts his price high, then you have to figure out how far you are willing to negotiate for what you want and be willing to walk away.  It’s unusual that you won’t find almost the exact same thing somewhere else along the way and the shopkeepers never sell for less than what they are happy with.  Once you buy something, several shopkeepers from nearby stalls grab you by the arm to invite you into their spaces “to buy some small thing to help me out as well”.  Ben did well with his purchases and I succumbed to a couple of necklaces and we started for home.

Now, I had been trying to follow Maggie to the market in heavy traffic, so I wasn’t exactly sure how to get back to the highway to get home.   This time there were a series of wrong starts and stops, followed by a phone call to Themba, and Ben’s good eye sight to get us homeward bound.  Thank goodness for leftovers for supper!

Thursday was Ben’s day.  I packed up my map book, Ben’s flip camera, a sweatshirt and we headed off early for our morning with the elephants, eager to see what would really be in store for us.  We had been past the entrance to the sanctuary before so we found it without getting lost (again thanks to Nico’s map from our first adventure to the dam).  A small group of us, 3 people from Denmark, a couple, a set of grandparents, son, daughter, and grandchild, and the two of us made up the 10:00 group.  We were led to an area with some wooden benches arranged in a semi circle around a small corral.  Three of the five elephants were led into the corral from the barns where they sleep at night. People were getting their cameras ready when Ben leaned over to ask where his flip was.  I had said I brought it along, but it was still in the car.  We were stuck without a camera and I could see the disappointment on Ben’s face.

Simba, our guide introduced us to the elephants and their trainers, giving us some background on how the animals are cared for, some basic behaviors they display in the wild, and information on the particulars of each animal.  Then one by one, a trainer would have his elephant perform a behavior such as kneeling down and then Simba would explain that the elephants typically bend when trying to reach down into the water.  After our “lecture and demonstration” on the elephants, we had the opportunity to actually go up to have our own individual time with an elephant and trainer.  Talk about a memorable moment!  Finally it dawned on me that my cell phone from Themba had a camera and video capability, so I pulled it out to capture our magic time with the elephants.  Each of us had the opportunity to check out the elephant’s mouth to see those big molars and the tongue, we rubbed the face and brushed our hands against the long eyelashes.  We compared the skin texture of the ear from the front and the back, felt the toenails and foot pads, checked out the nipples, rubbed the side of the elephant and examined the tail.  After our inspection, we held the elephant’s tusk, posed for a photo, and received an elephant kiss.  It had been so long since I’d had a great big kiss, that I gladly accepted the vacuum cleaner-like smooch from my elephant.

Once we finished our visit with the elephants we were led to a huge ring area to meet the elephants for an elephant walk.  As the trainers led the elephants, we let them hold onto our hands with their trunks as we walked around the ring.  Their warm breath on our hands as we walked was special.  Then we walked over to a display area to learn more about elephant anatomy and comparisons between Asian and African elephants.  Our time at the sanctuary ended with tea and a chance to get some directions to the Lion Cub Park.

We decided to do some shopping since we were at Hartbespoort Dam.  We had been shopping there before when I spent way too much money on paintings, chairs, and a table.  This time was for Ben, since it didn’t look like we’d make it back to Bruma to pick up the few things he had forgotten on Wednesday.  We tried out a couple of new places, but didn’t see much so we went back to the bigger area and once again, we spent all our cash and had to make a withdrawal at the ATM to take care of all our wants and the upcoming stop.  Between Ben’s thoughtful gifts for friends and my insatiable need for earrings, we contributed once again to the South African economy.

With our economic investment complete, we headed off in the wrong direction once and drove past the unmarked entrance to the park, but all in all, did OK in getting to the park.  We purchased our tickets, even though all we wanted to do was see the cubs and weren’t too interested in driving through the bigger part of the park to see the older lions.  As we were about to enter the gate, Ben realized that the flip camera was still in the car so he made a quick trip to grab the camera and we headed for the cubs.  Lion cubs are separated by ages into large cages where they can run around and people can pet them.  We were among 6 people who were in the cage with one of the volunteers who supervises the visits to protect the cubs and the people from one another.  The cubs that we saw were between 3-4 months of age.  One was a darker color and the rest were whiter.  Ben and I roamed around, petting the cubs, watching them play, and generally have fun just being around them.  After 15 minutes or so, we left the cage to look at the other animals in that area.  There were two beautiful cheetahs, some wild dogs, a couple of meerkats, zebras, and ostriches. We were really disappointed that the giraffes that are usually around had decided to take a VERY LONG walk and we never got to see them.  So, because we hadn’t eaten since our 9:00 egg MacMuffins, we decided to eat at the restaurant at the park before heading home (without getting lost).  Once home, we turned on the tube, started the laundry, and got ready to pack.

Friday, the big goodbye, started early for me.  I was a guest speaker in two sections of Nkidi’s First Additional Language (FAL) class.  I had prepared to talk about diversity from Bronfenbrenner’s ecological theory perspective.  When she introduced me to the class, she told them that I was talking about diversity and second language acquisition.  I was a little surprised that I had misunderstood, but after she explained the assignment that the students would be doing next for class, I picked up on what she might like and modified my approach.  Her literacy assignment was for her students to identify a concept (e.g., tall and long or time) that FAL learners would need to learn, develop a story activity and supporting learning materials.  As she explained the assignment with examples and more detail, I started thinking about the many ways that teachers could create language based activities, and that became the starting point for my conversation with the students.  The 8:30 class had almost 50 students and the 10:30 class had almost 40 students, but the time flew by.  Nkidi seemed pleased and the students were gracious so I got ready to leave the office to get Ben.

Friday traffic starts early and continues late.  When I got home, Ben was on the computer with most of his things packed.  We did our final checks through the flat, almost missing the flip camera, loaded up the car and headed to Soweto for final goodbyes to his homestay mom, the children, and his friends.  After a two-hour trip in stop and go traffic and a major storm complete with rain, thunder, and lightening, we got to Cena’s house for a visit and fond farewell.  Then back into traffic for a ride to the airport, supper at Ben’s favorite restaurant, Ocean Basket, time to walk around, and then a final goodbye hug at the security gate.

In mourning, I left the airport for Themba’s and Thembela’s house for the weekend with my adopted “family”.  I managed to make a wrong turn and Themba figured out exactly where I was, coming to rescue me from the Best Burger Roadhouse and lead the way to his house.  As I write this, Ben should have landed in Atlanta and be changing planes for Washington DC soon.  I’m not really anxious to hear from him -  more like eager to hear that he’s made it through customs.  In the meantime, I’m trying to get some work done while Themba grills all kinds of meat for a bar-be-que this afternoon, 2 lab puppies run around, and Lisha and I read through “Spot Sleeps Over” until she can read it for herself.